This is my mother. She is the creator of my heart, my home. That is the greatest gift she gave me, the knowledge of where home is. I have never ever doubted in all of my life where I belong. I never questioned how much I was loved. I always knew that even if the entire world fell apart, I would have a home to return to. This knowledge was not built in a day or a year, but over the entire course of my life. Bit by bit, piece by piece, moment by moment, filling my heart with enough substance and love to brave the great big world.
Like every mother and daughter relationship, it hasn’t always been a smooth road. We fight over the stupidest things. Disagree about the best way to clean a floor or how to get from one place to another. We often tell each other “I LOVE YOU”, but the sentiment gets lost and misinterpreted. “I LOVE YOU” becomes a noise that is heard, but not understood. Implied in every action and word, but lost in a lifetime of history and experience. Sometimes we both shout it so loudly that neither of us truly hear each other. It seems silly really, but it is this dynamic that makes the mother-daughter relationship the wonder that it is. Love in its truest and purest form.
Now that I’m a mother I see her more fully. I see her beauty, courage, strength, flaws, mistakes and more…we’re trying harder than ever to understand the language of “I LOVE YOU” that is passed between us every day. I don’t know if I will ever be able to communicate this to her completely, but I do embrace her for who she is. If I can love my children and give them a home like the one my mother built for me, I know I have given them the best gift a mother can give.
I love you Mommy.